Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You're gonna do what?

"you really wanna do that?"

Things I am scared about....

  • I might have a heart attack..or die
  • My mother won't forgive me (she doesn't know yet and wouldn't approve but I hate keeping her in the dark)
  • That I don't loose the weight - and those that know I have had it done will know I failed
  • That I don't break my habits and become a cheat
  • I won't be able to drink alcohol - silly really as I don't drink now, but whenever I have dieted I have started and used it as a reward for staying on track (not heaps usually one glass with some nice cheese!)
  • Having a completely different diet to hubby and not being able to enjoy eating out together
  • Loosing the weight and becoming a different person - and not one that hubby likes (kind of weird as he has known me through many weights)
  • Excess skin - what more can I say!

"As it happens - Yes"

But then this is why
  • I might have that heart attack or develop diabetes anyway
  • I won't hate shopping for clothes - or end with me in tears
  • My damaged knee will be able to cope and the other one won't get worse
  • I will like summer again because I won't sweat like a hog just walking from the car to the office
  • We can travel again and I won't mind going to concerts with hubby (now I am too embarrassed)
  • Able to do up the seat belt in the 4WD (for some reason they think only small people buy 4WD's and the belt is tiny)
  • My blood pressure will be under control
  • No longer risking my one kidney to diabetes (which after I donated one to hubby, discovered diabetes ran in my family)
  • My nieces and nephews won't be able to say "she's got a big ass" (can't blame them for saying it - it's true)
  • Being able to do family activities
  • Having confidence when going to a job interview. Rather than wondering whether I should have bought a new suit cos obviously I have put on weight since I last wore it, and man my feet hurt in these heels (no wonder I wouldn't get through an interview my mind just wouldn't be there)

I don't think I am miraculously going to be happy because I loose weight but I know it is something that makes me miserable.

There are other things in my life that will have to change, but really they have been on hold for many reasons and none of them exist once I have this surgery. The last one was staying in my job so I could afford it.