Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You're gonna do what?

"you really wanna do that?"

Things I am scared about....

  • I might have a heart attack..or die
  • My mother won't forgive me (she doesn't know yet and wouldn't approve but I hate keeping her in the dark)
  • That I don't loose the weight - and those that know I have had it done will know I failed
  • That I don't break my habits and become a cheat
  • I won't be able to drink alcohol - silly really as I don't drink now, but whenever I have dieted I have started and used it as a reward for staying on track (not heaps usually one glass with some nice cheese!)
  • Having a completely different diet to hubby and not being able to enjoy eating out together
  • Loosing the weight and becoming a different person - and not one that hubby likes (kind of weird as he has known me through many weights)
  • Excess skin - what more can I say!

"As it happens - Yes"

But then this is why
  • I might have that heart attack or develop diabetes anyway
  • I won't hate shopping for clothes - or end with me in tears
  • My damaged knee will be able to cope and the other one won't get worse
  • I will like summer again because I won't sweat like a hog just walking from the car to the office
  • We can travel again and I won't mind going to concerts with hubby (now I am too embarrassed)
  • Able to do up the seat belt in the 4WD (for some reason they think only small people buy 4WD's and the belt is tiny)
  • My blood pressure will be under control
  • No longer risking my one kidney to diabetes (which after I donated one to hubby, discovered diabetes ran in my family)
  • My nieces and nephews won't be able to say "she's got a big ass" (can't blame them for saying it - it's true)
  • Being able to do family activities
  • Having confidence when going to a job interview. Rather than wondering whether I should have bought a new suit cos obviously I have put on weight since I last wore it, and man my feet hurt in these heels (no wonder I wouldn't get through an interview my mind just wouldn't be there)

I don't think I am miraculously going to be happy because I loose weight but I know it is something that makes me miserable.

There are other things in my life that will have to change, but really they have been on hold for many reasons and none of them exist once I have this surgery. The last one was staying in my job so I could afford it.


Seeing in colour said...

Its a heavy decision and we all worry we wont loose and it was affect us in a positive means. If you realise its a tool and work with it then you will definately discover a change. You get out what you put in i guess.

Seems to me your health and lifestyle are the most important factors as to why your doing this and i think thats a very brave and exciting thing to do.

Dont be afraid of what could happen, start getting excited for the changes that will happen!


Something About Kellie said...

Hi Mo

Welcome to blogland!

My surgery is scheduled for 15 November, so I will only be a hop, skip and a jump behind you!

All of the things you have mentioned (bar the kidney donation! - by the way, that's FANTASTIC!) appeared on my for and against list.

I told mum and she was a little stunned at first but after a minute or two she just looiked straight at me and said 'do what you need to do'.

I also had the fears re: hubby not liking the new version of me. Crazy huh! I mena he's loved me for 12 years (fat and not-so-fat) so I think that area will be A-OK!

Look forward to sharing this journey with you!



workinprogress said...

Wow - I think nearly all of us had the same fears starting out (especially about failing). But I can honestly say (hand on heart) it was the BEST decision I ever made :)


Alison said...

I'm not that far in to my journey, well 6 months but the weight is coming off slowly!
I find that I'm living a fairly normal life and I don't tend to crave the things that I can't have (in terms of the stuff that I know that I can't manage to eat anymore rather than the junk)
I've never regretted my decision for a second.

Only 2 weeks away now, wow!

Sam said...

I know I have a lot of these same fears, and my nieces said the same thing about me when they were younger :-)

Looking forward to seeing you through you journey!!

alycejo said...

I see you're starting optifast today
Good luck with it!
I did for 4 weeks and I have to be honest, it can get tough...but it will pay off!
I stuck to it and I had absolutely no problems during and after the surgery

I'm only 7 weeks out but trust's the best thing I've ever done

Good luck with everything!

DiZneDiVa said...

Great pro-con list... and you're right, every one is more likely to happen to us anyway without surgery. I waited to have the band installed until I had diabetes, high-blood pressure, high cholesterol, acid reflux, and sleep apnea... both my knees are messed up and hips and lower back. I had my surgery 6 months ago, now I have lost 87 pounds(I started at a very high weight of 475), I am not on any meds anymore, and i can walk without pain(I was in a wheelchair 6 months ago)... I wish that I had done it sooner but I am thrilled that I did it. No more yoyo diets and deprivation. I feel great. It is a difficult decision to make but it is one that you will be happy you made... for life. *Maria*-blogger from "This one time at BAND Camp..." Follow my journey at

Blossom said...

Definitely you can have a glass of wine. Don't worry. You can probably have a bit of whatever food you like. When you feel better about yourself, you will project that. And you will be happier without having a weight loss struggle about you constantly!